Happier Gift Giving

If dear old St. Nick, who loved to chuck gifts through people's windows in the night, had known where his merry present flinging would lead, he might have thought twice about it.  Stress, obligation, worry, debt.  Where's the joy or Christmas spirit in that?

If you love to battle your way through the seething crowds in search of the perfect present, go for it.  If not, read on.  There's a ton of ideas here on how to do things differently.

Shop Online

Second nature to most of us now.  Pour a glass of your favourite tipple, blast out the Christmas music and lose yourself on Etsy or Amazon for an evening.  Job done.

Make A Day Of It

If you prefer to shop in person, why not head for a Christmas market with a gang of friends and make an occasion of the present buying?

Charity Gifts

You know the ones - the goats and bicycles and cows that will be donated on your behalf to folk who really need them.  When I lived in the States and most of my friends and family were back in Britain, exorbitant shipping costs across the Atlantic made charity gifts the way to go.

Charity Receiving

This one's like running a sponsored marathon without ever getting out of bed!  You nominate a favourite cause or charity and friends and family chip in.  There's something enormously satisfying about watching the money stack up and knowing your Christmas is serving others.

Adopt An Animal 

One of my favourite presents ever was the reindeer my husband adopted for me one Christmas. It lived in the wilds of Scotland and I was invited to go and visit it.  Unfortunately, the said reindeer died before I ever made the trip - but that hasn’t put me off the idea!  Various animal charities run similar schemes.  Google them.

Secret Santa

You may already do this in the workplace so why not at home?  Draw lots with the rest of the family and give to only one other person.  This either cuts down drastically on the seasonal expense or allows each person to receive one really big present instead of lots of small ones.

Hand-Made Gifts

It always staggers me when I read articles that suggest knitting jumpers for everyone I know will simplify gift giving.  Excuse me?!!!  Clearly the people who write such rubbish have never knit jumpers (or have only two friends in the world....and even then!).  But there are ways to make this one work.  One is to combine it with the Secret Santa principle above - I know one family who do this to great effect with even the smallest tot spending weeks making one special present (with a little help!).  The other way to swing this is to batch make.  Home made food comes into its own here (biscuits, chutney, chocolates, flavoured oils etc.).  Or try batches of soap and other scented goodies.  One day’s work can yield dozens of presents.

Perishable Gifts

I once read about a man who was so troubled by all the surplus stuff in the world that he insisted on only giving - and receiving - perishable goods.  Things that would quickly be used up and not hang about gathering dust for years to come.  We’re talking food, flowers, candles.  I've always leaned to this idea.

Give Time

This one has so much going for it.  It's personal, costs nothing, puts no extra stuff into the world, totally cuts out the last minute flap of looking for presents, and frequently means you get to spend more time with the person to whom you're giving. Not bad for one small gift, huh?  Put simply, you donate time. It might mean offering to act as chauffeur for someone without a car….or babysitting several times.  You get the idea.

Give Your Skill

Same as the last one but share your special talents.  Promise your computer skills, design talent, musical ability, cooking expertise.  Perform, build, service, teach, create.  The possibilities of this are endless.

A Day Out Together

One of the best Christmas presents that came my way last year was a friend’s offering to ‘take me out for the day’.  We didn’t actually get round to the expedition until October.  When we did, we had the loveliest drive through pretty countryside, winding up at a fabulous craft gallery and café.  Definitely worth the wait.

The Grown-up Wish List

This tends to be perceived as grabbing and materialistic but let's be logical here.  We encourage children to write letters to Santa; and wedding present lists are widespread practice. Why not Christmas lists?   So much money is wasted each year on unwanted gifts and this totally avoids that.  Simply make a wish list that family and friends can peruse – either hand-written or online (use Luvocracy or Pinterest).  You still get surprised by which wishes actually materialise and the givers have the satisfaction of knowing they're giving you something you truly love or need.  If this feels too easy - as if there's not enough thought and effort involved - then get imaginative.  If someone has listed a favourite brand of coffee, arrange to have a packet shipped to them every month.  If someone else wants a particular book, take them to a great bookshop so you can spend time together and make an occasion of buying the treat.

The One Big Thing

In similar vein to the last but the recipient nominates one big thing they really want and givers chip in money towards it.  When I was saving to buy my harp, I was really grateful for occasional contributions towards it.

The Same Thing

Buy everyone the same or similar.  My brother-in-law goes to an off-licence and buys everyone on his list a bottle of their favourite drink.  Maybe you‘ve read a great book this year you want to share with everyone you know.  One stop, one shop.  Everything covered.  It's not cheating if it takes the stress out of the celebration.

The Whole Family Gift

If the number of people you buy for is getting out of hand, consider giving one joint gift to each family on your list, rather than dreaming up individual presents for everyone.  Food hampers, games, cinema vouchers etc. all make great family gifts.

The Price Cap

Everyone in the family or your circle of friends agrees they will spend no more than x amount on anyone else.  Takes the financial lunacy out of gift giving.

The No Money Option

This one takes some ingenuity so is best for those with lots of time.  You amass your stash of gifts to give by making, finding, swapping and trading - but at no point do you spend any cash.

Alter The Time Scale

If everything you have to do in the run-up to Christmas freaks you out, take present giving out of the Christmas equation.  Send everyone an Advent gift at the end of November instead to help them cope with their own Christmas frenzy - an Advent calendar (my mum still sends me one every year even though I'm…er, old!); a book of Advent readings; a de-stress kit of essential oil and soothing music.  You get the idea.  Alternatively, simply pop a note in a card or stocking promising a gift on a specified date.  Sort of fun to spend the next six months in anticipation of June 1st!

Sharing Treasures

There's no law that says presents have to come from a shop and be all shiny and new.  Consider passing on treasures you already own.  If a friend has always admired a particular bowl, give it to her.  Pass on a piece of jewellery that was handed down to you.  This is meaningful, heart-filled giving.  Not to mention responsible recycling.  And cheap.

Pass It On

Finally, if you do wind up with a couple of unwanted gifts, remember one man's junk is another man's treasure.  Don't let things moulder neglected.  If the gifts can't be returned to the store they came from, take them to a charity shop or sell them on eBay.  Or get together with a gang of friends in January and have a present swap party (just be discreet about who gave what in the first place! ).

My Best Tip For A Calmer Christmas

One month from today is December 25th.  Eeek!  For those of us who celebrate Christmas, the countdown frenzy is already underway.  But panic not.  This week, I want to share with you a few posts designed to help you navigate the season in a more manageable way. 

First, a little background.  I’ve always adored Christmas.  For all kinds of reasons - not least of which being that it’s the perfect excuse for a crafty girl to go into overdrive.

For too many years I did just that.  I made hand-made cards (anything up to 200 of them), hand-made presents (at one point my present list stretched to more than 120 people), wrapped everything with elaborate hand-crafted trimmings, produced sleigh-loads of hand-made chocolates (plus all the other festive food, naturally) and enough hand-made decorations to festoon the entire house (and then some).  Of course, I also wanted to attend every carol service, concert, party, pantomime and family gathering possible.  I was squeezing every last drop of juice from the Christmas clementine.  I wanted the whole seasonal shebang.

You can guess what happened.  All my jolly and determined celebrating burned me out.  Every time.  Odds on I’d be in bed with exhaustion and/or flu by Boxing Day at the very latest.  And I know you understand this because most of us have been there to some degree.

I eventually wised up to the fact that for my own sanity and health - not to mention the peace and goodwill of those around me - this couldn’t go on.  It took a few more years to figure out an alternative way of celebrating the season but I finally did it.  With one very simple strategy.  Today, I’m sharing with you my best tip for a calmer Christmas.  And this is it:

IDENTIFY WHAT MATTERS TO YOU MOST ABOUT THE SEASON AND FORGET THE REST

I know.  It sounds ridiculously simple.  But it works, believe me.  Each year now I make a short list of the elements that really encapsulate Christmas for me - the things/food/people or events I really don’t want to do without.  THEN FORGET THE REST.  How you celebrate the season is, after all, up to you.  You don’t HAVE to go to every event to which you’re invited.  The people who love you will NOT be offended if you skip sending cards this year.  Christmas will NOT vanish never to return because you choose not to decorate the house for once.  And just because you have kids does NOT mean you have to get caught up in ALL the hoopla. Let the children choose with you the things that matter most then model some restraint and incorporate some quiet time - you’ll all be happier for it.  No, it’s not easy to jump off the Christmas hamster wheel but IT IS POSSIBLE.  And it gets easier each year you make that conscious choice.

For me, the beautiful consequence of this approach is that not only has Christmas become simpler to negotiate, but it now feels far more intentional.  What I do with these few weeks carries greater meaning and allows time for reflection.  It’s actually way more enjoyable than when I was frantically chasing the Christmas dream.

To show you what I‘m on about, here’s my list for this year.  Your list will likely be totally different and that’s perfect.  Make the season your own.  Don’t jump on anyone else’s bandwagon.

Christmas Scents - I love the house to smell Christmassy.  A few drops of essential oil in a burner do the trick.  Or just throwing my orange peel on top of the stove.  Takes seconds.  Wraps me in a fug of seasonal delight.

Christmas Tree - For various reasons, it‘s six years since I had a tree in the house.  This year I want one!

Music - I like to listen to The Messiah from start to finish once each Christmas - either in concert or on CD.  I love Christmas music on the radio.  And I’ll be making time to play carols on the piano.

Christmas Reading – Over the years I’ve amassed a collection of books filled with Christmas poems and stories.  I’ll stick them in a basket and, at some point, find a few minutes to dip into them.

Films - Have to watch one or two Christmas favourites.

Chocolates - I love making chocolates.  There’ll be no other hand-made presents from me this year, but there will be chocolates.

Time to Reflect - Just a minute or two each day.  What’s the point of it all otherwise?

Time with Family and Friends - I want to gather with the people who mean most to me. 

This list is not exclusive.  It doesn’t mean I won’t do or enjoy anything else that’s Christmassy.  But OTHER STUFF WILL ONLY BE ALLOWED A LOOK-IN IF THERE’S TIME AND IT DOESN’T ADD EXTRA STRESS TO THE PROCEEDINGS.

If my choices still sound too many to you, look at it the opposite way round.  If I don’t send or receive a single card, don’t attend a single party, don’t eat a single mince pie, I won’t mind in the least.  I’ll still feel like I’ve enjoyed and celebrated the season in the ways that matter most to me.  Feel free to make an even shorter list if it suits you.

Grab a pen and paper and start now.  Jot down the things that matter most to you - be they foods you want to eat, people you want to see or the one tradition you can’t live without.  Then focus on those things.  Bravely say NO to the rest.  You don’t have to go the whole hog to experience the Christmas spirit.  It’s far more important to stay sane.  Because, truly, that will spread far more peace and goodwill in the long run.

Check in again on Tuesday when I’ll be sharing the definitive guide to happier gift giving.

My Robin Redbreast

Ta-da!!!  He must have heard me – rattling on about how I longed to get a picture of him and was so frustrated because he wouldn’t let me.  This weekend, my robin friend finally allowed me to shoot two super quick snaps with my iPhone.  Then he was off.  (No Bird Photo Booth required!)

Every morning, this chap waits for me to pour seed onto the stone pillar by the field gate.  If I’m late or – heaven forbid - I forget, he sits outside the window of whichever room I happen to be in and reminds me.  And if he fancies an extra snack during the day, he’ll appear on the wall immediately in front of my car as I clamber in or out.  Polite but insistent.  And absolutely not shy.

I have to tell you, this little fella brings me more joy than just about anything else in my world.  More than any of my exotic travels or adventures.  To have a connection – an understanding - with a wild creature is an immensely special thing.  A huge privilege.  To have a picture to remember him by is the icing on the bird cake.

Two Leaves

two lone leaves

flags atop a wooden ship

carrying cargo of memories

bilberry and heather hued

into the tides of hoary winter

Bird Photo Booth

You know me.  I love taking pictures - and what I most like to photograph is the natural world around me.  Landscapes are great.  But better still is sticking a macro lens on my DSLR and getting close.  Really close.

All well and good when I’m shooting leaves or flowers.  But my biggest photography frustration is not being able to get decent pictures of the birds I feed daily.  Even my tame robin is camera shy.  To photograph him and his friends, I’d need a zoom lens (don’t have one); and even then I’d have to creep up pretty close and exercise oodles of patience.

Imagine how excited I am, then, to discover a new Kickstarter project that will allow me to shoot stunning macro bird images with just my iPhone - no creeping required.  Bird Photo Booth is a beautiful bird feeder, modelled on a 1950s Land Camera, into which you pop your iPhone….then repair somewhere cosy to record video or snap images via a remote app.

I am beyond giddy at the possibilities this amazing invention opens up.  This is one project I’m backing for sure.  Please spread the word to every bird lover or photographer you know and let’s make sure this one becomes reality.